Ever have STD scare?
- Thread starter CherryHillTaxGuy
- Start date
I forget, but are you the poster that banged the porn star that had a horse cock in her? The one Dmil used to rag on.
I actually just had one this month. Not a scare, but an episode.
Lets say ive done some things I probably should have have over the past two months.
So i go get tested a month back before i head overseas. I wait a couple days, they call me back:
Doctor: "Mr. Wade Garrett, your results all came up negative."
Me: "Just to be clear, what did i test negative for?"
Doctor: "chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis."
Me: "And...."
Doctor: "And thats it."
Me: "What about HIV?"
Doctor: "Oh, we didnt test for that."
Me: "You're an asshole."
Then i had to go to europe not knowing if i had the hiv.
Like i give a shit about any of the other ones.
NickleDimer
Post 'Til Your Fingers Bleed
I've had a few scares, not a great feeling waiting for that phone call. It's extremely difficult to get HIV for a straight male (~3000/1 shot unprotected sex with someone who has it).
I've seen 10,000 to 1 for insertive vaginal hetero sex. That's why I don't mind going bare back. I like those odds.
Going in the backdoor dramatically increases chances (still slim for hetero). Playing for the other team I think it's somewhere around 300/1.
NickleDimer
Post 'Til Your Fingers Bleed
If it was easy to get the population would've been in serious trouble. Don't really know the odds about getting other types of things, just that HIV is nearly impossible to get if you don't sleep with the trashiest hookers or with other dudes.
if you're white and circumcised, nearly impossible to get HIV. at least that's what i tell myself when i'm blasting sans rubber.
the first time i went for the full STD test was my sr. year in college (was a late bloomer, plus back then girls would blow your whiskey dck having a$$ twice in one sesh and never come close to banging you. times have most definitely changed).
i was down in the dumps over my on again/off again gf and ended up, in a moment of emotional weakness, smashing this girl on valentine's day to make myself feel better. her nickname, bestowed upon her by the frats, was "blue eyeshadow girl." she always wore it, day and night. if you're a girl and you have a nickname other than "the library virgin chick" you're probably a g-dmn whewer. blue eye shadow girl was most certainly a g-dmn whewer.
so my buddies, after laughing their a$$es off, tell me the next day that i should get checked out because she's nasty. i make an appointment at the on campus health center and go in early on a friday morning. as i'm in the waiting room a stunning gal in her late 20's comes out and goes "mr. eberzzz." i start to panic, freaking out that this schmoke is going to be the one to administer all the tests.
she leads me into the room, gives me the gown, tells me to undress and says, "the dr. will be with you soon." relief washes over me as i realize she's just the admin. i strip down and put on the smock and sit there waiting. as you know, that is a looooong wait, plenty of time to think about all the stupid mistakes you've made with your dck.
after what seems like an eternity, in walks a 60+ year old woman - jackpot! - this will be no problem. i'll let this old bag fondle my junk all day long. she scans the clipboard in front of her and goes "looks like we're giving you a full checkup today...we'll get started once my assistant arrives." immediate transition to pure dread. yep, sure enough the hottie walks in.
now, this was the time in my life where i had just started experimenting with ball shaving and pelvis pubic trimming. in a case of unfortunate timing, i had just whittled out an inspired pattern from the top of my junk to my waistband area. the old doctor tells me we are starting with the chlamydia exam, lifts up the smock, and instructs me to milk my pen!s. "excuse me?" "i need you to milk your pen!s to remove any discharge from your urethra."
so there i am, d!ck the size of a thimble, weird parno pube shaving on display like some kind of degenrate, jerking my gerkin for these two ladies, one of whom is a legit 8. i don't think it can get any worse. it gets worse. after a bit the older doc grabs my dck and squeezes the tip, takes a swap on the end of a stick and jabs it into my dckhole. watching a long slender object entering your body through your 3rd eye is not the most pleasant of visuals, nor does it feel amazing. "please milk your pen!s again, sir." WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN?!? same process.
the rest of the examination is a blur. on my way out the older doc, with a hint of a smile, suggests that i take a handful of condoms on my way out. i went home and curled up under my blankets feeling as little like a man as i had to that point.
only upshot, once i got the "all clear" notification in the mail i framed it hung it in my hallway and during our last party of the year got a world class blowie from a sophomore chick who saw it hanging there and tracked me down.
TLDR; college!
the first time i went for the full STD test was my sr. year in college (was a late bloomer, plus back then girls would blow your whiskey dck having a$$ twice in one sesh and never come close to banging you. times have most definitely changed).
i was down in the dumps over my on again/off again gf and ended up, in a moment of emotional weakness, smashing this girl on valentine's day to make myself feel better. her nickname, bestowed upon her by the frats, was "blue eyeshadow girl." she always wore it, day and night. if you're a girl and you have a nickname other than "the library virgin chick" you're probably a g-dmn whewer. blue eye shadow girl was most certainly a g-dmn whewer.
so my buddies, after laughing their a$$es off, tell me the next day that i should get checked out because she's nasty. i make an appointment at the on campus health center and go in early on a friday morning. as i'm in the waiting room a stunning gal in her late 20's comes out and goes "mr. eberzzz." i start to panic, freaking out that this schmoke is going to be the one to administer all the tests.
she leads me into the room, gives me the gown, tells me to undress and says, "the dr. will be with you soon." relief washes over me as i realize she's just the admin. i strip down and put on the smock and sit there waiting. as you know, that is a looooong wait, plenty of time to think about all the stupid mistakes you've made with your dck.
after what seems like an eternity, in walks a 60+ year old woman - jackpot! - this will be no problem. i'll let this old bag fondle my junk all day long. she scans the clipboard in front of her and goes "looks like we're giving you a full checkup today...we'll get started once my assistant arrives." immediate transition to pure dread. yep, sure enough the hottie walks in.
now, this was the time in my life where i had just started experimenting with ball shaving and pelvis pubic trimming. in a case of unfortunate timing, i had just whittled out an inspired pattern from the top of my junk to my waistband area. the old doctor tells me we are starting with the chlamydia exam, lifts up the smock, and instructs me to milk my pen!s. "excuse me?" "i need you to milk your pen!s to remove any discharge from your urethra."
so there i am, d!ck the size of a thimble, weird parno pube shaving on display like some kind of degenrate, jerking my gerkin for these two ladies, one of whom is a legit 8. i don't think it can get any worse. it gets worse. after a bit the older doc grabs my dck and squeezes the tip, takes a swap on the end of a stick and jabs it into my dckhole. watching a long slender object entering your body through your 3rd eye is not the most pleasant of visuals, nor does it feel amazing. "please milk your pen!s again, sir." WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN?!? same process.
the rest of the examination is a blur. on my way out the older doc, with a hint of a smile, suggests that i take a handful of condoms on my way out. i went home and curled up under my blankets feeling as little like a man as i had to that point.
only upshot, once i got the "all clear" notification in the mail i framed it hung it in my hallway and during our last party of the year got a world class blowie from a sophomore chick who saw it hanging there and tracked me down.
TLDR; college!
I don't understand why an assistant has to be in the room -- I had the same thing happen to me. Except now you don't have to get anything jammed down your dick, just need to pee in a cup.
NickleDimer
Post 'Til Your Fingers Bleed
Is that the new standard, any time someone's dick is getting touched in a doctor's office, two people have to be present to avoid lawsuits?
Been this way for awhile. Even a mole check where the doc lifts my junk for a sec just to peek at the undercarriage requires at least 2 "interns" to observe.
And is getting a swab inserted into your dickhole the standard for an STD test? Like nardi said, isn't a pee test enough? Or are your doctors just masochists?
Just got the full litany of tests done about 1.5 months ago. Started seeing this girl who was in an outer circle of friends after randomly running into her. Turns out one of my other friends from this circle was trying to get in before I got there and was acting as her "friend". So when he found out that she had started hanging out with me he did the old cock block lines of "You need to be careful, he's done this, done that, oh and btw here's a video of him pounding some girl". Mother F'er somehow got a video that I had shared with 2 people - and one of those dudes thought it would be hilarious to send it to multiple people.
Long story short, his warnings and the video got bad things into her head and she wanted me to get full tests done. I had no idea HIV/AIDS test was a pin prick and then they know the results in less than ten minutes. The other tests took a week. A very long week. With a lot of used "connies".
Long story short, his warnings and the video got bad things into her head and she wanted me to get full tests done. I had no idea HIV/AIDS test was a pin prick and then they know the results in less than ten minutes. The other tests took a week. A very long week. With a lot of used "connies".
NickleDimer
Post 'Til Your Fingers Bleed
That's why I stopped filming my POV blowjob scenes. Can hardly see the girls face with my Ron Jeremy belly hanging over my dick.