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Ever Sh*t Your Pants?

Wasn't aware you dorks lived on YouTube. Impressive.
 
Not to bump such an egregiously old story post, but i nearly just shit my pants at work.

No joke, had to stand up, change positions, clench with everything I had and stand completely still to accomplish NOT shitting myself.

Then the wave subsided and I unloaded something similar to the gallon of lemonade in the "Oops, I Crapped My Pants" skit in the bathroom.

That was a true feeling of terror.
 
Peanut-butter-jelly-time.gif
 
timely bump for me

had a bug of sorts over the weekend. woke up at 4:45 AM Sunday morning and had to hustle to the can before i crapped my pants. the diarrhea was explosive. as the second wave was gushing out, i suddenly puked in my mouth. cheeks full, chunks. maximum capacity that would've come out my nose had there been one bit more, or i'd have spewed it all over my bathroom.

i could've tried to get up and go for the tub or the sink with it, but in my current state, i was concerned move about the fountain from my backside releasing without being over the bowl. fortunately, i was able to compose myself, puke still in mouth, and wait for a pause. i quickly gave two wipes, flushed, turned around and spit out the contents before upchucking all the contents of my stomach. didn't even have time to rinse my mouth out before i had to sit back down for the next wave. fortunately, it was one of them 24 hour bugs, but it was one of the more stressful wake up calls i've ever had.
 
i've sharted multiple times as an adult. once while studying abroad in greece and having to walk about a mile back to the hotel, once at 9am on a monday morning at work after a sunday funday when a rogue sneeze hit me and apparently i had a fart on deck that shot out, etc.
 
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Not to bump such an egregiously old story post, but i nearly just shit my pants at work.

No joke, had to stand up, change positions, clench with everything I had and stand completely still to accomplish NOT shitting myself.

Then the wave subsided and I unloaded something similar to the gallon of lemonade in the "Oops, I Crapped My Pants" skit in the bathroom.

That was a true feeling of terror.

Most perfect double tapered shit ever?
 
I thought sharting was just a natural part of life. A part of the human condition. Are you people telling me that you never shit in your pants, ever?
 
Last year I got the worse stomach flu in my life. Over the course of 36 hours I sharted myself at least 3 times. Also happened at the Eagles-Bucs Championship game back at the Old Vet.
 
timely bump for me

had a bug of sorts over the weekend. woke up at 4:45 AM Sunday morning and had to hustle to the can before i crapped my pants. the diarrhea was explosive. as the second wave was gushing out, i suddenly puked in my mouth. cheeks full, chunks. maximum capacity that would've come out my nose had there been one bit more, or i'd have spewed it all over my bathroom.

i could've tried to get up and go for the tub or the sink with it, but in my current state, i was concerned move about the fountain from my backside releasing without being over the bowl. fortunately, i was able to compose myself, puke still in mouth, and wait for a pause. i quickly gave two wipes, flushed, turned around and spit out the contents before upchucking all the contents of my stomach. didn't even have time to rinse my mouth out before i had to sit back down for the next wave. fortunately, it was one of them 24 hour bugs, but it was one of the more stressful wake up calls i've ever had.

Did this episode follow a hearty meal at the local Chipotle?
 
I don't think sharting in association with food poisoning should count.

Sharted at work taking a piss. Sometimes that little gasser just won't stay back, except this time it wasn't just air. Bolted into the stall to assess the damage. Cleaned up as best I could and left for the day.
 
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If you wanna see something funny check out Chipotle's stock. Unless of course, you own(ed) it.
 
sht my pants at the eagles/titans 2006 game when mcnabb went down. was in SRO and had just eaten a bunch of nachos. tried to force out a fart and immediately knew i'd gone too far. gingerly walked to a bathroom stall, peeled of the boxer briefs and threw them out. not a fun day.

could 2015 hold a similar year-end run for the eagles?
 
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