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Squatty Potty

G

Greg Woodward

'Nova Nation Sensation
Feb 18, 2014
691
55
28
Any of you jack wagons ever tried the Squatty Potty?

I received a Squatty Potty as sort of a gag Christmas gift and the freakin' thing has changed my life. My eliminations are swift, they are clean, and most importantly they are complete. When you are done, you are done. Gone are the days of finishing a dump only to have a few remnants remaining, ready to pop out like a prairie dog.

The Squatty Potty is a cheap, crudely made product that maybe costs $20 or $30, but it is a life changer. Highly recommended.
 
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Originally posted by Greg Woodward:
Any of you jack wagons ever tried the Squatty Potty?

I received a Squatty Potty as sort of a gag Christmas gift and the freakin' thing has changed my life. My eliminations are swift, they are clean, and most importantly they are complete. When you are done, you are done. Gone are the days of finishing a dump only to have a few remnants remaining, ready to pop out like a prairie dog.
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You must be so proud.
 
Im not saying this facetiously, does it really make a difference? Im thoroughly unsatisfied with my dumps. May as well not even wipe.
 
Originally posted by Mr. Wade Garrett:
Im not saying this facetiously, does it really make a difference? Im thoroughly unsatisfied with my dumps. May as well not even wipe.
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I was drinking water when I read this. It came out of my nose. Well played, sir.

As for this squat pot bullsh*t, couldnt we just put 2 blocks of wood on each side of the toilet and get the same effect, at no cost? Surely putting 2 wood blocks on each side of your sh*tter isnt the most astethically pleasing vision but neither is this plastic piece of sh*t. J.S, just sayin.
 
Just turned over two decorative boxes to mimic the squatty potty. Was perched on the toilet like one of the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys. Clean up pretty minimal. Will keep the newsgroup updated on future craps.
 
Agreed Gdog - I just taped together a few of my old playstation 2 game cases for the left foot and used an old muscle milk container for the right - works like a charm and fits my bathroom's aesthetic
 
They say it works, but it looks like a poor approximation of the way most of the world shits...

Squat_Toilet.jpg

I suppose you could try to make a rig for your bowl...

Squatting-Toilet-Platforms-Available-002-550x550.jpg

Probably fall off and wind up paralyzed and covered in shit.
 
That picture is way worse than "three-pig-grundle", and I got nothing.

Peaked.

Edit: Anybody watch The Americans first episode? Nice blast of naked-man-ass in that episode. It's really at epidemic. Need some man-ass-free programming. Or Title IX it.

Trivia: Whose ass was first TV man-ass?

(Tastykakes to the winner)

Can select from one of three;

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coffee-cake-junior-med.jpg

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Trivia: Whose ass was first TV man-ass?

(Tastykakes to the winner)






I remember a big deal being made over that fat guy from NYPD Blue showing his ass in prime time.
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Originally posted by kindbits

...NYPD Blue...
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Correct.

Dennis Franz (and it was a beauty)

sipowicz-grabs-his-junk.jpg

Good work.

Please choose your Tastycake selection from the three options provided and post your home address.
 
I'll pass on the Tastycakes as I'm a fatass in the process of dropping a couple of pounds. Just the fact that I can pinpoint the exact moment when family values on television started their nosedive is reward enough.
 
Actually, we could use a "trusted" 3rd party to settle these transactions.

Can I mail a box of Tastycakes to "VUSports.com" and have ew forward them (I'm sure he'd love to do that)? Or I could send in a gift card and you can pick it up at the tailgate.

Edit: OK, good luck.


This post was edited on 2/4 9:59 AM by spg109876ers
 
Originally posted by gldendog:


As for this squat pot bullsh*t, couldnt we just put 2 blocks of wood on each side of the toilet and get the same effect, at no cost?
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Yes, I suppose you could build your own substitute Squatty Potty if you feel the need to save the $20. Gr8 idea!

I am still enamored with my squatty potty and my only regret is that most of my dumps occur at work and we have a squatty potty-free environment.
 
Originally posted by Greg Woodward:
Yes, I suppose you could build your own substitute Squatty Potty if you feel the need to save the $20. Gr8 idea!
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You may have stepped in shit, here.

Let's investigate…

1. The squatty-potty seems like a stand to raise your legs. While this may be beneficial in it's own right (through better anatomical "alignment", an indictment of "comfort height", incidentally), it's not the same as the true "natural" position. In squatty-potty, you are still sitting on your ass, whereas with an actual squatting deuce, your weight is on your feet (ass is hovering).

2. The squatting rig (please refer to figure) is a stand built over bowl height that allows you to true-deuce over a conventional toilet bowl. Very different from squatty-potty.

And for the record…BB2N.

Bonus content: if you can't drop a good deuce, over the course of a month or so…

1. Eat some probiotics ("live" fermented foods better than "supplements")
2. Eat some prebiotics (vegetable fiber, if you're hardcore you can mix in sunchokes [fartichokes] for inulin and Shirataki noodles [zero calories] for glucomannan)
3. Take magnesium (the brand is Natural Calm, increase dose gradually)
4. Then, eat a raw russet potato for resistant starch (peeled, no green areas)
5. Next morning, have a coffee and make a SMS (smooth-mushy-snake)

You're welcome.

e






This post was edited on 2/5 11:43 AM by spg109876ers
 
Caution: if you have "rotten" guts like jmerc and shit blood (IBS, Chrons, Celiac, SIBO etc) skip all that and do an "elimination" diet. Just get to a single, neutral, food that you can handle (maybe plain boiled potatoes without skin?) and if you "get right" add the other shit back systematically [or you could always go to the "doctor"].
 
Bump (or "Dump")

Just used the decorative boxes again to get the knees above the hips. Again, cleanup minimal. Will continue this method until someone asks me why I have two decorative boxes on both sides of the toilet.

SPG is right when he references all of the Middle Easterners who squat over shitholes. They have it all figured out. Now I know why you never meet a smelly brown person.
 
Originally posted by Mr. Wade Garrett:
Now I know why you never meet a smelly brown person.
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I certainly have. Especially in the summer months when they are covered from head to toe and it is 97 degrees and oppressively humid.

spg109876ers, what are your thoughts on coffee enemas? A brief synopsis/abridged version will do if your schedule is too "jammed up" to do a robust analysis.
 
Nothing in through the outdoor (except maybe a digit at the washy-washy if the shot clock is winding down).
 
Originally posted by spg109876ers:
Nothing in through the outdoor (except maybe a digit at the washy-washy if the shot clock is winding down).
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Concur. I find it fascinating that someone actually conceived the notion of injecting coffee up one's rectum.

Then there is the issue of choosing the proper blend and so on and so forth.
 
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