Taking questions tomorrow....
- Thread starter obriend1
- Start date
So you're making an appointment for a TQ thread?
Also, Bill hasn't been the moderator for over 5 years. That's when Eric overthrew him in a bloody takeover at the Rivals headquarters.
Also, Bill hasn't been the moderator for over 5 years. That's when Eric overthrew him in a bloody takeover at the Rivals headquarters.
Younger guy from Media. Very good though, familiar with the Delco court system, so no he was not a shitbag. Her lawyer was a woman from West Chester and she was a moron and a shit bag. I actually corrected her first custody agreement as there were so many egregious errors that I wasn't sending it directly to my lawyer for him to do the same thing. She also sent it to my ex, who sent it to me, to send to my lawyer? Circumventing standard protocol.
Start to finish, how long did the whole proceedings take?
What are the top line outcomes? Custody, alimony, child support, home possession, etc.
Are you going to have a divorce party?
What did you learn from this?
What are the top line outcomes? Custody, alimony, child support, home possession, etc.
Are you going to have a divorce party?
What did you learn from this?
1. What is your favorite cookie made by your ex-wife?
2. How many girls have you banged since you split up?
3. How many squirters?
4. Do you regret getting that silly arm tattoo?
5. What do you think of Trump as President?
2. How many girls have you banged since you split up?
3. How many squirters?
4. Do you regret getting that silly arm tattoo?
5. What do you think of Trump as President?
Almost a year. From actual first time in court, almost 9 months. She dragged it out as long as possible to get APL (alimony during the duration). Still dragging the final documentation to leach off of my health insurance plan as she can't afford it on her own.
50/50. No alimony going forward. Child support isn't too bad - will actually be less than paying for her life. I got the house, but didn't even want it. Took on the majority of the debt. Had to pay her the majority of the savings to get her to finalize everything. I couldn't take the APL any longer, it was a paycheck a month.
No, but I'll gladly drink some beers before a Nova game in celebration that I can now attend them without getting harassed by her.
Hmmmmm, I don't know if I'll ever get married again. If I do, I want a pre-nup locked in place before hand and won't date anyone who thinks differently. It has def changed what I look for in women.
Pretty terrible still. Am out of the depression it put me into for the most part. It was the most emotionally draining life experience I've ever gone through. However, I realized a while ago that I'm very happy without her and what she would put me through. I actually enjoy things in life again.
1.) Never really liked any of them. She mostly made sugar cookies that were too hard and bland and really just decorative. Plus she never made extras for me to try. Occasionally I'd get a scrap.
2.) A dozen? Really went on a bender in the beginning but have settled down and am dating a girl exclusively.
3.) Just the one.
4.) No. Actually getting more added this afternoon. They remind me of certain things when I'm in a funk.
5.) I don't even think it is a real option. However, I enjoy his antics and that he gives zero f's. He's calling out everyone.
I'd say B. A is a ton of work. It was like having a second job. Talking to multiple women was tough because you'd forget what you told one and didn't tell the other or confuse convo's etc.
From her to me? Me to her? Or from other people? The worst things I really heard were that my brother and cousin had a bet on my wedding day as to when she would divorce me, my sister was going to stop the wedding but my Mom stopped her from doing it, and that my ex sent an email to my friends telling them what was acceptable behavior.
I think I got married because of the pressure she put on me, the rest of my friends were settling down, and that's what I thought was normal in life. I should have been smarter and made a tremendous mistake but didn't want to admit a year in or even the past 4 years. I would have stuck in it just for our son's sake. I always was willing to work on the marriage and the relationship but that was never returned.
2.5 years ago she brought up that she didn't think we were right for each other. I caught her having an day long conversation/flirting with a guy she met while she was out with her friends. Called her out on it and was told to not be silly. Two summers ago she was clearly detached and stopped putting in any effort. Never cleaned, cooked, did wash, didn't want to here about work stress, didn't want to visit my family, didn't want to go out just the two of us, wouldn't go out with friends of ours (even to just dinner etc), then she wanted to separate. We separated for a few weeks after seeing a couples therapist for the first time. She wasn't able to tell the therapist one thing she loved about me and it actually made the therapist cry. She told the therapist all she wanted out of life was to shop at Target and Home Goods and do "normal" stuff. She refused to go back to that therapist. When we got back together she went to a shrink and they would bring me in every few weeks or so to discuss issues, but it wasn't couples counseling. Last year goes by and it is obvious she's just done. We only fought a handful of times, and really I just wanted to see some emotion. Then last year I took my son to the movies while she was out with her friend in Philly and watched a live convo between her and her ex boyfriend and it started off with "She doesn't have her ring on and doesn't understand why more guys aren't talking to her." She didn't know I was following it. I stopped looking in disgust and then an hour later she said she was going to sleep out - something she never ever does. She didn't come home until noon the next day, despite us having plans. I called her out on it the next Monday and actually included her mom in on the text message and was told to get over it. We have progressive and the snapshot program so I then went back and saw where she went when our son was in childcare and it was the exact mileage to Downington, where her ex lived. I don't have harder proof but she really has never denied anything. She had been checked out for years and was just too much of a pu$$y to leave before all this. Plus she was dependent on me financially and couldn't until our son was older.
Nope, not in lovely PA! It is a no-fault state! So her being a shitty homemaker didn't help me either. I got bent over Pulp Fiction style.
Oh so basically it came down to this: she married me thinking I was going to become a different person. I have cards from her thanking me for being such a good "life provider" and "partner". She didn't marry me because she was in love with me or loved me. She married a concept and just wanted to get married. Basically it was doomed from the start on her end. She does not feel empathy and cannot admit when she's wrong, I'm assuming due to her own insecurities. There were so many red flags I ignored.
Difference in income, length of marriage, and what each brought to the table financially. Had we gone to court we could have argued she brought very little to the marriage "table." But it wasn't financially worth it. She purposefully stayed unemployed, besides her cookie business, to keep the income gap as large as possible. She now has a part time job at a country club, even though she could be a full time retail store manager making 50k a year.
The person you marry (or getting married) is the most important decision, financial and personal, you'll ever make in your life. Very sorry it didn't work out. However, don't beat yourself over it and sounds like you learned a lot about yourself and life. Best of luck in your next phase.
You got that right. Thanks, and it was a learning experience. At the end of the day, my son is worth the financial loss I took. Hell, people pay hundreds of thousands trying to conceive or adopting. I just went at it in a different manner.
The other thing it made me realize was to cut people who didn't contribute to my life in a positive manner. So some friends became drinking buddies, some drinking buddies became acquaintances, etc. As much as people bust balls on here, I won't ever criticize people for things they actually like doing and things that make them happy. Life is way to short to really give a crap about what people like. But I'm still good with bringing up annoyances, and most of them are due to people having bad manners and not caring about their fellow man.
How much did the lawyers cost? Always wondered why one lawyer couldn't handle things. Especially since your wife used your money to hire a lawyer to fight you. Good times.
She made a couples therapist CRY???? Good God. That's some kind of combination of depressing and impressive.
Sounds like you are moving forward and have a new perspective on things. Good Luck to you.
Sounds like you are moving forward and have a new perspective on things. Good Luck to you.
Glad to hear you're well down the road of putting this behind you. 50/50 split with no alimony and reasonable child support sounds like a solid outcome for you. What are the aspects you feel are unfair to you?
Going to end up around 10k - 11k. Not the worst but given we were supposed to go to a mediator and spend 7k all in to get it done, spending 16-18k on two lawyers for the same outcome is insane. But this isn't over. If I was a betting man, I expect to go back to court for child support or potentially custody at some point. Especially when he goes to Kindergarten.
Yup. And then she wouldn't go see the therapist again with me. She only would see her without me, which they can't do once you've see them as a couple. She didn't want to go either because the therapist called her out on her wrongs and she can never be wrong.
She never brought anything in financially to the marriage. She spent thousands on decorative items from homegoods, food she wasted, always ate out, baby clothes our son never wore, etc. She would buy items and then sell them on facebook mom pages a week later for half the cost. I paid off her credit card debt coming into the marriage and she rang it back up again the first year our son was born without telling me. I paid for 80 percent of our wedding. I paid for her engagement ring which she lost (And didn't feel bad about) and then she got a new one because I was smart enough to get a home insurance rider on it. I my eyes, she didn't deserve any of our savings. It wasn't fair that she got alimony as she lives at her parents, doesn't pay rent, doesn't pay for groceries, doesn't pay her phone bill, doesn't pay utilities, etc. Alimony is supposed to be used to get someone back on their feet. She used it to party with her friends and went on a vacation with some dude to Arizona. It isn't fair that she left and divorced me and I had to pay for her life still. While she chose to not work. The laws are completely antiquated in this state and country.
I don't even know. Maybe two Junes ago? We were down to having sex once every 3 or 4 months or so. I have zero attraction to her, especially after her hurting me so much financially. Anyone who chooses to do what she did, because "the law says she can", is incredibly ugly.
I called her out on it the next Monday and actually included her mom in on the text message - Nice work buddy. Nice work. Sure that made her feel like the whore that she is.
Word of advice that a brother of mine gave me in regard to your son. Make your home a sanctuary. Calm, relaxing, fun and never an argument or fight...which I know is tough. Sooner rather than later he will realize that she is scum and that you are the TRUE parent.
Also when the kid is with her make sure to bring back as many big boobed babes as possible and bang the s out of them.
Word of advice that a brother of mine gave me in regard to your son. Make your home a sanctuary. Calm, relaxing, fun and never an argument or fight...which I know is tough. Sooner rather than later he will realize that she is scum and that you are the TRUE parent.
Also when the kid is with her make sure to bring back as many big boobed babes as possible and bang the s out of them.
Good question. I've actually thought about that recently. I read about someone who wrote their ex a letter about the things they liked about them in order to help better their relationship for their children. My problem is right now there isn't a whole lot. She's a completely different person than she was when we first started dating and got married.
I like that she loves our son. That's honestly it right now.