ADVERTISEMENT

Taking questions tomorrow....

I called her out on it the next Monday and actually included her mom in on the text message - Nice work buddy. Nice work. Sure that made her feel like the whore that she is.

Word of advice that a brother of mine gave me in regard to your son. Make your home a sanctuary. Calm, relaxing, fun and never an argument or fight...which I know is tough. Sooner rather than later he will realize that she is scum and that you are the TRUE parent.

Also when the kid is with her make sure to bring back as many big boobed babes as possible and bang the s out of them.

Funny part is that it didn't seem to bother her? I guess because cheating runs in their family? Her Brother has cheated on his wife multiple times and currently has had a side gf for over a year plus. Her sister-in-law was banging a neighbor a few years ago for 4-5 months. They won't get a divorce because they can't afford it and live in misery. So I guess f'ing around is the norm for them!

That's what I've done. I turned my son's bedroom into his own section of the house. Got him a bed that has a slide. Super hero themed. Adjusted everything and changed the decor in the house. The kitchen is now our art studio. It is still my son's home and the most important thing is that he's happy and comfortable here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kjbert
I called her out on it the next Monday and actually included her mom in on the text message - Nice work buddy. Nice work. Sure that made her feel like the whore that she is.

Word of advice that a brother of mine gave me in regard to your son. Make your home a sanctuary. Calm, relaxing, fun and never an argument or fight...which I know is tough. Sooner rather than later he will realize that she is scum and that you are the TRUE parent.

Also when the kid is with her make sure to bring back as many big boobed babes as possible and bang the s out of them.

As for the true parent comment, good timing. Her and I have been arguing because our son has been mad at her and not behaving that well when he's with her. So she's been trying to tell me it is because he needs his "mommy more than half the time." But she won't look at some of the obvious reasons: she lives with her parents and they constantly play with him and give him attention, so when she does him it just isn't her and our son interacting most of the time. Then she's been dating this guy for a few months and has already introduced him, his 1 year old son, his parents, his sister and her kids, friends, etc to our son. My son woke up the other night with a nightmare that "Mommy was giving me to a new family" and talks about her holding the guy's 1 year old son. Nothing like ignoring the obvious issues at hand.

Plus she doesn't parent. I had to get rid of the pacifier because it was giving him bad rashes and effecting his speech. I found his school. I got him potty trained and it took teeth pulling to get her to help. I've taught him left and right, the alphabet, to count, to sound out words, and am now teaching him how to read. Then there are the moral aspects that I've had to teach him, like manners and why you shouldn't be mean and why helping people is important etc. I'm not trying to brag, but it is basically like I'm a single parent when it comes to the parental side of things. She just wants to be the loving mommy, not the mother who helps make him a better person.

I've asked to go to a co-parenting therapist multiple times and she won't go.
 
Hypothetical - Her cookie business takes off the next few years and becomes a huge brand. She's the next Mrs Fields. Now she's a mogul with an 8 figure net worth,

Will you tgo after some of that cookie money?
 
Does your son know what's going on?

He's only 3.5, so no not really. He only knows that we no longer all live together and that Mommy lives at her parent's house. I've talked to him about it and actually have purchased some children's books like "Two Homes" to help him to understand it. I won't ever talk about her in front of him, at least negatively. I'll always ask how her and her parents are after his weekends with them and ask what they did.
 
Hypothetical - Her cookie business takes off the next few years and becomes a huge brand. She's the next Mrs Fields. Now she's a mogul with an 8 figure net worth,

Will you tgo after some of that cookie money?

If I have any actual claim to it? Sure, why not. I did set up her social media accounts, her email, and sacrificed time and income to allow her to start and run it. Plus I even would deliver cookies for her when needed.
 
What does the little man say about the whole ordeal? Is he confused? Do either of you talk sh*t about each other through him?

Are you cordial with each other's families or did that blow up too?

How does the 50/50 work? Alternating weeks?

How's the new job going? Did this ordeal affect your work?
 
  • Like
Reactions: kjbert
Are you dating the girl you had the threesome with?

Nope. She was a great girl and a super fun time. But she def was the girl you blow off steam with. Plus a 24 year old has a lot of living/learning to do. We are still friendly with each other and want the best for her.
 
What does the little man say about the whole ordeal? Is he confused? Do either of you talk sh*t about each other through him?

Are you cordial with each other's families or did that blow up too?

How does the 50/50 work? Alternating weeks?

How's the new job going? Did this ordeal affect your work?

A little confusion but not much. I've explained that his Mom needed to move in with her parents and that we still both spend time with him etc. He doesn't get why we don't all hang out anymore. He asked me last night if I could meet her boyfriend and his son and if we could all hang out. That sucked. A lot. But I said sure, and I would be more than cordial (while biting my tongue) for my son's sake. Plus I want to tell the guy if anything bad happens under his watch that there will be a reckoning of epic proportions.

No, not at all. I've actually talked to my ex sister-in-law a few times, asking for help with my ex when it came to parenting things like the potty training. But other than that, I do not want to see any of them and will not interact with them when I do. No reason to have their negativity in my life. As for her, well when I went on a bachelor party for work and my parents watched my son over the weekend. She harassed my mom via text and threatened to call the police because she assumed i was coming back a day earlier than I was. Plus my family knows how bad she financially f'ed me and saw how depressed I was for a long period of time before all this. They never really liked her that much because she would be on her phone and barely intereact with them at family functions.

I mean it is distracting, but the lack of sleep has allowed me to put in a lot of hours. I've had to dance around court hearings and school pick ups and drop offs and work trips so that has been tough, but that's just something I have to get used to. Work is good for the most part, just tough working in a corporate giant that takes forever to do things.
 
If your ex agreed to do a Taking Questions with us, what is the worst thing she would tell us about you that also happens to be true?

Hmmmm, I flipped a coffee room table and broke it, broke a baby gate, and punched a hole in the upstairs wall during arguments over 4 years. We rarely argued but when we did she knew how to cut right to the heart. I also tossed her cat who had climbed on my shoulder during an argument. I hated that thing, plus I am allergic. During the 3 months she still lived here but was proceeding with the divorce and refusing to move out I called her every name in the book. I also made sure to drop the "you're ugly without makeup and you'll always be fatter than me" line on her. I regret those things now clearly. But it is not like I wasn't being truthful.
 
Hmmmm, I flipped a coffee room table and broke it, broke a baby gate, and punched a hole in the upstairs wall during arguments over 4 years. We rarely argued but when we did she knew how to cut right to the heart. I also tossed her cat who had climbed on my shoulder during an argument. I hated that thing, plus I am allergic. During the 3 months she still lived here but was proceeding with the divorce and refusing to move out I called her every name in the book. I also made sure to drop the "you're ugly without makeup and you'll always be fatter than me" line on her. I regret those things now clearly. But it is not like I wasn't being truthful.
Hahhahaha. Tossed her cat. That's ****ing priceless.

jack-black-kick-baxter-anchorman.gif
 
Over/under/properly:
Committment
Male children
therapy
self reflection
reducing kids TV time
Sesame Place
Romanian deadlifts


Committment - under, and I mean true commitment.
Male children - under. We play basketball in the basement, went to an eagle's preseason game, watch cool cartoons, pretend to be superheroes, etc.
therapy - when needed, under. Every week or two weeks, over.
self reflection - over. It is important and needed but it can happen quickly, suddenly, and out of nowhere. You need to address your emotions, what is going on in your life, and what you want out of life at that time to help maximize every day. Sitting there and reflecting or meditating is like mental masturbation. It can last a while, take up time, and you might feel good at the end but you really didn't get a breakthrough.
reducing kids TV time - under. I also consider this iPad time as well.
Sesame Place - over. There are a ton of kids shows now that teach the same things or message.
Romanian deadlifts - over. Crossfit stuff.
 
Hahhahaha. Tossed her cat. That's ****ing priceless.

jack-black-kick-baxter-anchorman.gif

It went like 7-8 feet and landed on its feet. I used to have to the litter all the time because she would do it once every two weeks. It would set off allergy attacks constantly. Hated the cat and the experience.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kjbert
Just so I understand the financial aspect - you essentially split everything 50/50 - although you financially supported her for the last 9 months (I assume that didn't count as her part of the 50/50) and then you have to pay her monthly child support as long as you have joint custody until your son is 18?

Will she have to pay 50% of his education? How much is the monthly child support to her and how can you ensure it goes to your son and not her?
 
  • Like
Reactions: kjbert
Will you get remarried? Are you looking for a relationship yet, or just still having fun?
 
Just so I understand the financial aspect - you essentially split everything 50/50 - although you financially supported her for the last 9 months (I assume that didn't count as her part of the 50/50) and then you have to pay her monthly child support as long as you have joint custody until your son is 18?

Will she have to pay 50% of his education? How much is the monthly child support to her and how can you ensure it goes to your son and not her?

No, just custody was split 50-50. She only took her two personal credit cards on, debt-wise. I took the rest of the debt. She took 75% plus of the savings/401k. That in turn got me her equity in the house. It was either that or she was willing to go to court and have a judge force us to sell it, which we would have lost 10-15k in cash on currently. Correct, her alimony did not count to any of it. She took essentially a paycheck a month from me. Correct, I have to pay her child support monthly until he is 18 despite us both having equal custody. If she were to get a job that paid her my income then I would not have to pay. If she gets a job that pays her more than she's currently making then the child support will be reduced to account for that.

Technically yes, however if I want to send him to private school and she does not but agrees those costs would be on me. $800 a month or so? Oh there is no way. She uses it to pay her bills and on herself. She does not spend 800 a month on him. Currently, she's pay $320 a month for child care but he's 3.5. His needs are minimal. What, 50 bucks in clothes a month? 100 in groceries? 100 in entertainment?
 
Have you considered that it's possible (even though the current emotional climate might not allow it) to let all the bitterness and transgressions wash away and actually want her to be happy and to get along with her and her possible new family(ies)? It just didn't work. Some bad sh*t happened. But now that it's over, what can we do for everyone (particularly obriend2) going forward to have the best outcome possible? It's really hard and unnatural to think like that. But I know people who have done it with amazing results. And others who tried but just can't put the past away.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChuckSullivan97
Will you get remarried? Are you looking for a relationship yet, or just still having fun?

Don't know that answer. I would say I'm in a relationship, but she went through something similar and we're going very slow and just enjoying time together and have zero pressure. We kept it hidden from mutual friends for a while to ensure we got to know each other very very well, good and bad.
 
Have you considered that it's possible (even though the current emotional climate might not allow it) to let all the bitterness and transgressions wash away and actually want her to be happy and to get along with her and her possible new family(ies)? It just didn't work. Some bad sh*t happened. But now that it's over, what can we do for everyone (particularly obriend2) going forward to have the best outcome possible? It's really hard and unnatural to think like that. But I know people who have done it with amazing results. And others who tried but just can't put the past away.

Funny you say that. I almost responded to an email today about our son, where she was going at me, with something along those lines. I don't want unhappiness for her. I want her to be happy and find whatever she is looking for, even if I might not agree with those life standards for our son. Her being unhappy will only be a negative for my son. I really do wish she gets additional treatment with a therapist and addresses her past issues and moves forward in life. I don't want bad things to happen to her. Would I like some karmic payback? Sure, but I'd rather it come through good things happening in my life without her being a part of it. Like winning the lottery for example.
 
You get the idea, though. Her hurting doesn't change what happened. Your best scenario is where everyone wins. It's not a zero sum game.

Best of luck, brother. Thanks for sharing. Hearing your story has been enlightening.
 
Back to the sex

Anyone you banged out where you felt like you had gotten over your predicament?

Can you f your way out of depression?
 
Back to the sex

Anyone you banged out where you felt like you had gotten over your predicament?

Can you f your way out of depression?

Once I was banging the squirter life got better. Then once I realized how easy it was to actually get laid in 2015, by hot women and not 2 am last calls at the bar, things got a lot better.

No, but it def helps. The sex, getting attention, and just feeling overall wanted, when coming from the exact opposite of it before, really helped me. My confidence was at an all time low before all of this because of how beaten down I was. It also helps that the worst looking girl I slept with was better looking than any of the guys she dated.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kjbert
It's easy to get laid in 2015?

As compared to the pre-Tinder, dating websites, etc days. The amount of work now, as compared to the mid to late 2000's, is so much less. It was a stunning revelation.
 
Hmmmm, I flipped a coffee room table and broke it, broke a baby gate, and punched a hole in the upstairs wall during arguments over 4 years. We rarely argued but when we did she knew how to cut right to the heart. I also tossed her cat who had climbed on my shoulder during an argument. I hated that thing, plus I am allergic. During the 3 months she still lived here but was proceeding with the divorce and refusing to move out I called her every name in the book. I also made sure to drop the "you're ugly without makeup and you'll always be fatter than me" line on her. I regret those things now clearly. But it is not like I wasn't being truthful.
Sounds like you went all in and called her the "c" word, am I right?
 
Trip to Gonzaga planned?

My brother graduated and is back in Philly now. So no. But my youngest sister is a freshmen at Rutgers (yeah yeah she heard it from us, but is going for clinical pysch) so we will be taking a trip up there soon. I've got a work trip to Anaheim in a few weeks but that will be tame.
 
I figured as much.

Did you go the generic route or did you enhance the insult factor with some well thought-out adjectives (i.e. "you ______ c---")

I through in fat. Probably stupid. Maybe white trash at some point. We had a nice two month period of just pure insults.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kindbits and kjbert
I said things in the heat of the moment that I wish I hadn't and that embarrass me now. I'm a better person than that.

Looking back at it, I just want her to admit she was wrong and a single apology. Only closure I need to get past the hate.
 
As compared to the pre-Tinder, dating websites, etc days. The amount of work now, as compared to the mid to late 2000's, is so much less. It was a stunning revelation.


Do you still use Tinder?

Explain how you would go from Tinder to the P.

What was your online dating experience? Is it glorified Tinder? Do people really want to date?
 
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT